Due to some unforeseen event recently, I was running short of cash. So bad that I absolutely have to start asking around. For years I was blessed enough, to be always lending/ giving to others, but this week, I knew what it was like to be a borrower.

First, it doesn’t matter whether you were a cheerful or grudging lender. When you are asking to borrow, be prepared to be treated like an outcast. You will certainly be at the mercy of others.

I met people who would took less than 2 seconds to give a straight, “No!”, “Don’t have..” and some with more elaborate reasons and excuses. These are from people who had said to me’” Call me when you need help- any help at all.” Then there are the few who might be willing but cannot or will not help immediately, say- wait till next month. Only a rare few a genuine attempt to help, may be just a small portion of your need.  But it was great enough.

These responses, though can be humiliating and painful, make a precious lesson in human behavior. It helps us filter out who your friends are. So I took it in my stride. This experience has helped me rather than hurt me, for I now understand and tested the people whom I had assumed to be “true friends”.

Then I amazed at how kind I was previously. I used to live by the principle that help should be offered promptly and if unasked, even better. No one should feel small for being in need and borrowers should make a genuine effort to repay as agreed. In retrospect, may be kindness can indeed become stupidity once it crosses that fine line.

May be my ideals are outdated. The conventional wisdom of “Neither a borrower or lender be” is definitely the more valid rule to live by in today’s world, where few individuals live by their word.

In any case, just wish that those who could help but withhold that offer, may they never in in a position of needing other people’s help. Good luck to you all.
I do not want to be a bitter person who is insensitive to others. However, I have come to some new enlightenment:

- don’t lend. Give what we can afford – this is so much less agonizing than to lend and never have them back.

- If willing to help, don’t delay. Imagine telling a starving man to come back to you 3 days later? Why bother to help then?

-helping others is seldom convenient. If today it is inconvenient for you to help others, what makes it convenient for others to help you someday?

To save heartaches and face, if possible, neither a borrower or lender be. Indeed.