Today I came across an article that advocates the issuance of “certificate of forgiveness”. It dawns on me how we overlook this act that benefits the giver just as much as the recipient.
Forgiveness is the foundation of many religions. The whole theme of Christianity is about Love & Forgiveness. Even non-extremist Muslims offer each other forgiveness at the beginning of each year.
Forgiveness is also a virtue in many cultures. Chinese has a saying that the greatest gift to those who have done us wrong is forgiveness. In fact, the ability to forgive reflects on the nobility of the man. “Great man forgives” is an often quoted when seeking forgiveness.
Like many people, I had gone through horrible events in life where I was violated, unprovoked, simply because I was a convenient victim. These perpetrators had long left with their loot, damages and with no trace of repentence, leaving us boiling in our pain. What do we do?
The people who hurt us may never care if they are forgiven, they may not even want it. But the negative emotions inside us are holding us hostage. It is like taking poison ourselves and wishing the other person dead! How then shall we detox our emotions?
One common suggestion is the ”burning” method: write all the bitterness, anger, resentment down on a white sheet of paper. Once done, crumble the paper and burn it in a safe place. It look like a silly ritual but in fact, this simple symbolic action signifies inner spiritual cleansing.
Do we realize also – that we ourselves deserve just as much forgiveness as others? While we did the best we could, or we didn’t do all the we could, whatever could went wrong had already went wrong. We must now acknowledge our own imperfectness. That we had made those stupid mistakes, unwise choices, misjudgements, bad investments, acted on wrong perceptions… we are just human after all. Allow room for our weaknesses and failures. If we can forgive others, we must also forgive ourselves. If we love ourselves, we should forgive ourselves.
Forgiveness is the scent that the rose leaves on the heel that crushes it… how beautifully said. May this be a fragrant world!
